[view of the Krusty Krab]
- Squidward:[from inside] One Krabby Patty for table two. SpongeBob, I don't have the whole day. [cut to inside in the kitchen]
- SpongeBob:One Krabby Patty, Monsieur. First, the patty. [flips it up in the air and it falls into one of his holes. He holds up the other ingredients]
- Squidward:Come on, SpongeBob!
- SpongeBob: Next, the ingredients. [throws them in the air] Ah, oui! [he catches them in his holes and his pants] Les mustard. [he squirts some out and it lands in his eye]
- Squidward: Lets quit fooling around, where's my Krabby Patty?
- SpongeBob: Hold on a second! [SpongeBob takes his head and shakes it all up. When he puts it back on his body, his eyes roll around] And voila! [he goes up to Squidward and pulls a Krabby Patty from under his nose] It's under your nose! [laughs and puts it on a plate. Squid pretends to laugh]
- Squidward: You're killing me SpongeBob! Ha ha ha… you really are. [close up on the patty].
- SpongeBob: Look at it, Squidward. Mr. Krabs' gift to all of Bikini Bottom -- the Krabby Patty..
- Squidward: Okay, give it to me. [the Krabby Patty flies off of the plate and starts bouncing all over the place] Come on Spongebob, stop it!
- SpongeBob: [the patty slithers out the door and heads for the exit] I swear I'm not doing anything. Mr. Krabs! The Krabby Patty is haunted! [the patty gallops along until Mr. Krabs spears it with his leg. A tiny thing comes out from it and Krabs inspects it in a magnifying glass]
- Mr. Krabs: Avast, ye patty pirate! This is no ghost. This is… [view of in the magnifying glass, of a tiny jelly bean-shaped green creature with one eye] Plankton! Stealing me booty!
- Plankton: [first lines] Hear me Krabs. When I discover your formula for Krabby Patties, I'll run you out of business. I went to college! [Krabs picks up the puny pest] Hey! Let me go!
- Mr. Krabs: Oh I'll let you go, squirt. On a flying saucer! [laughs. He splats Plankton on a plate and spins him back across the street, to the Chum Bucket] Back to the Chum Bucket with you!
- Plankton: You'll pay for this Krabs! [slams through the doors]
- SpongeBob: Uh.. Plankton, sir?
- Mr. Krabs: Aye, he's been trying to steal me secret formula for years. But you haven't got it yet, have ye bug? [laughs.. SpongeBob joins in, braying with laughter. Krabs stops but Sponge keeps laughing] OK. [keeps laughing] Enough lad, it wasn't that funny. [keeps laughing] Get back to work! [Sponge stops. Cut to nighttime at the Krusty Krab]